#4

The Best of Today:

• Abbott-after class-

Guy: Sir, may I hand this in after class?

Professor: Nigga please!

 

• Notre Dame-on campus-

Girl: Why do guys like thongs so much?

Guy: For the same reasons as Sisqo, of course…

 

• UAlbany-on campus-

Guy: I met her at a bar, so I figure she was at least 15. Oh well…

 

• UCLA- leaving Pauley Pavilion-

Guy 1: Now that my doctor prescribed me weed, it seems like more of a chore than anything else

Guy 2: That how I felt about Xanax! Before rehab obviously…

 

• UArizona-outside of Fiji-

Girl 1: I hate it when he cums in my mouth

Girl 2: Who?

Girl 1: Whoever…

 

• Oregon State-at a party-

Girl 1: Didn’t that guy have clamydia?

Girl 2: Yeah, but he’s on antibiotics…

Girl 1: So when you get it, he’ll just give you some pills?

Girl 2: Wow! That’s cool, I didn’t even think of it that way…

 

• UNLV- cafeteria-

Guy 1: I think I banged a hooker

Guy 2: Wait, you think you banged? Or you think she was a hooker?

Guy 1: Not sure, I blacked out…

 

• Notre Dame-leaving class-

Guy 1: That test was really hard

Guy 2: Yeah, I had a hard time reading what the Asian chick in front of me was writing

Guy 1: Word…

 

• Cornell- on campus-

Guy 1: You smell that?

Guy 2: Smells like pussy!

Guy 1: Um…It smells like shit…

Guy 2: Yeah, I haven’t gotten laid in a while…

 

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We’ve been getting a ton of emails asking us to post ridiculous pictures you guys have run across. Unfortunately, haven’t seen any real winners, but keep em coming!

 

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Keep the emails comin! OverheardYou@hotmail.com!

#3

The Best of Today:

• Notre Dame–at LaFortune-

Girl: If I don’t get knocked up, I guess I’ll go to law school…

 

• Deleware-after class-

TA: You know that he doesn’t accept late work.

Girl: I know, but I’m willing to do anything just to get just even like partial credit for it…

TA: Doing ‘anything’ would have meant getting it in on time.

Girl: I know, but I’m willing to do anything NOW to get at least some credit for it…

<pause>

TA: Alright, then…….what exactly is “anything”?

Girl <confused>: Umm, it’s an adverb, right?

 

• Abbot-leaving class-

Girl 1: Im gonna kill myself!

Girl 2: Don’t do anything you will regret later…

 

• York U- Central Square-

Girl 1: Come on! Hes totally good looking, why don’t you just get with him?

Girl 2: No, I don’t know, I really don’t like him

Girl 1: Yeah you do. You totally do!

Girl 2: Yeah, I guess I do, but hes available…

Girl 1: Oh yeah, hmmm, well then just wait until hes unavailable!

 

• Arizona State-outside Chipotle-

Girl 1: I swear to God, college gave me ADHD!

Girl 2: …And Clamydia…

Girl 1: Fuckkkk…

 

• UMiami-leaving class-

Girl 1: Im not a jersey chaser…they chase me!

Girl 2: Hmm…but you still only fuck guys on the football team, right?

Girl 1: NO! ****** is on the basketball team!

 

• Vanderbilt– on phone-

Guy: What was I supposed to say? “Sorry for getting you pregnant”?

 

#2

The Best of Today:

• Fordham-writing class–

Professor: A friend of mine, who is a nun, told me that she was on an elevator with a Father and his young son and daughter. She, then, looked down at the little boy and asked, “What do you like to play with?” to which the little boy replied, “my penis.”

• Northeastern-chemistry class-

Professor: I am so excited I can’t even keep my legs together!

• USC-

Guy 1: Bro…she brings panda over

Guy 2: Bro, yesss!

Guy 1: Then we fuck, eat panda, then fuck again. Then I passed out!

Guy 2: Dude that’s fucking awesome!!

Guy 1: Dude, I know. I know…

• USC-outside Café 84, on phone-

Girl: I mean, theres really no reason to use a condom as long as he pulls out, right?

• UCONN-

Guy: If you had sex with a hooker without consent, would it be rape or shoplifting?

• Carnegie Mellon-philosophy class. Re:stock markets-

Professor: Its worth than divorce. I lost half of my money and STILL have my wife!

• Notre Dame-blackout guy in front of SDH-

Guy: Hey! Ive had sex with that girl! And her. And her! Oh wait, did I have sex with her? Hey you!! Did we have sex? Confirm or deny…

——————-

Awesome stuff…keep the emails coming…OverheardYou@hotmail.com or fbk name: Overheard You

#1

The Best of Today:

• Penn State–

Girl 1: I hate that they think I am a slut, I am not a slut!

Girl 2: Well, how many people did you fuck this weekend?

Girl 1: Three, but two of them don’t count because I have slept with them before!

• Texas-

Guy 1: I should be mad that he pissed on my backpack, right?

Guy 2: Hmm, depends. Does he remember it?

• Indiana-

Guy 1: I killed it last night!

Guy 2: Nice!

Guy 1: Yeah dude, she said I was, I asked her.

Guy 2: Wait, what? You asked her if you were killing it?

Guy 1: Yeah dude, she said he ex-boyfriend was bigger, but I was fun too!

• USC- outside of the film school-

Guy: Who is Pete Carroll?

• Trinity-

Girl 1: So crazy we have a black president!

Girl 2: Um, George Bush isn’t black

• Xavier- frat party-

Girl: I want to spread it, like, I want to divide up my vagina so that there is enough for everyone. I’m not going to limit it!

• Pitt-girl on phone-

Girl: I just hate when he masturbates!

• Drexel-

Guy 1: She had a British accent, that’s my fucking favorite!

Guy 2: Nice! Did you fuck her?

Guy 1: No

Guy 2: So why did you tell me this story then?

OVERHEARD YOU!

You got caught!! There is too much eavesdropping going on in this world to not keep a record of it. So, you think the people sitting next to you at lunch didn’t hear your ridiculous ranting? Not only did they hear it, but they emailed me about it and I’ve posted it here! Next time you are at a party, library, cafeteria, class (etc etc) and overhear someone saying something ridiculous, stupid, hilarious or in any other way entertaining, shoot us an email at OverheardYou@hotmail.com and we will post it to this blog. We have done this on a facebook group, but a blog is much better..Ill post only the best dirt from around the world… Let the eavesdropping begin!